I sat in the front passenger seat of a taxi making small talk to my driver, Martyn, on a cold, grey January day in 2009. The night had been bitterly cold and it was now trying to snow but the flakes were so tiny that they melted as soon as they touched the damp road. We were heading for Dock Gate 10 in Southampton where the P & O ship was berthed. As the taxi turned into the dock area and I caught my first sight of mv Arcadia my mouth dropped open and all I could utter was “WOW”. I could see a smile spread across Martyn’s face. He must have seen this reaction a hundred times before from virgin cruisers. The ship was absolutely huge—so much larger than I ever imagined. It towered over the berth and made me feel like the tiniest of beetles.
“Am I going on that? !!” I uttered in amazement. It was not only the magnitude of the ship that struck home at that moment but also the magnitude of the adventure that I was about to embark on. All on my own I was about to go on my very first cruise. Not only that, but it was to be a “Grand Voyage” — half way round the world and it was to last 101 nights. It turned out that Martyn had worked for P & O on cruise liners such as this for some 12 years in the past. He told me that I was going to have THE most fabulous time and that I would probably come back married. I hastened to tell him that I was definitely not going on the cruise looking for a husband. So why was I going? It was to try to pull myself out of the bottomless rut that I had dug for myself over the past few years.
During the Autumn of 2007 my very elderly and faithful dog, Lucky, was nearing the end of her life. In quiet moments during the evenings I would surf the internet looking for ideas to distract my mind from sombre thoughts. Being a genealogist I had often researched families who had made long sea voyages in the golden age of the 1920s and 1930s. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to follow in their footsteps and cross the Atlantic in style in a cruise liner? My fingers did the walking (or I suppose to be more accurate “did the sailing”!) and I searched to see how much it would cost to do such a journey on the famous Queen Mary or the new Queen Victoria. Cripes, it cost an absolute fortune just for the 7 day Atlantic crossing—never mind the return journey! And there were no single berths on these lovely ladies of the sea.
From my days in Hong Kong I knew that the Queen Elizabeth did have a small number of single cabins so I searched to see what voyages she was about to embark on. To my disappointment I found that she was due to depart very soon on her very last voyage before being sold and sent off to Dubai to become a floating hotel. My fingers continued to fly over the keyboard keeping the bad & sad thoughts at bay and eventually I found myself immersed in the P & O website. All of these ships did holiday cruises and world voyages. I was able to bring up maps of the world and see the intended routes. I was able to peek through the ship’s web cams and see views of vast oceans and foreign ports.
My imagination strayed. Now if I were able to do such a voyage which of these World Cruises would I choose? My fingers clicked away and brought up page after page of exotic places. It would have to be a voyage that went to South East Asia and Australia. Oh, look—there is one that calls at those places as well as Shanghai and Hong Kong—I could even visit the Great Wall from one of the ports in northern China. Now if I were able to do such a voyage which of the ships would I choose to go on? My fingers clicked away and brought up pictures and details of the P & O fleet. Oh look, that one looks so much sleaker than the rest—and the stern of the ship is tiered which looks so much nicer. What a coincidence for that is the ship that is doing the wonderful cruise that takes in SE Asia, Australia, China and Hong Kong! Now, if I were to do such a voyage on such a ship which of the cabins would I be able to afford? My fingers flew across the keyboard and found the pages which showed deck plans and prices. Yes, I could afford an inside cabin. Yes, I could afford a cabin with a window. But if I were doing such a trip, in such a ship wouldn’t it be nice to have a balcony so that I could relax in the fresh air in my own space. I searched some more and eventually found the perfect cabin with the perfect balcony. It was a stateroom with huge balcony right at the back of the ship. The cost? Much more than I would ever want to pay, but hey, this was all in my imagination. One can always dream can’t one?!!
As the weeks passed by Lucky became weaker and seemed to become more confused in her mind. Thursday 28th. November was her next appointment at the vets and I tried not to think about the inevitable outcome. The day dawned ominously dark and as I waited for the animal ambulance to arrive I sat on the floor and cuddled Lucky for half an hour chatting to her very softly. Then we were off. I didn’t hear a thing the driver was saying for I was trying to fight back the tears. As I carried Lucky into the Vets I could hold the tears back no longer. I broke into sobs and the vet knew it was THAT time. I cradled Lucky in my arms as she was put to sleep. It was not a pleasant experience as her muscles went into spasm and her heart gave its last beat. The vet assured me that she could not feel a thing but I screamed out for her to give in. I screamed and screamed—and cried and cried. She died in my arms.
I walked all the way home across the common in the drizzling rain. I sobbed my heart out and when I got home the anger set in. Anger at myself for not having the perseverance to nurse her longer. Stupid really. Lucky was in her eighteenth year and the reason she had lived so long was due to my stubbornness in not giving in earlier. But my mind was not seeing things rationally at that point in time and I stormed through the house chucking her bedding, rugs and feeding bowls into the dustbin. I was distraught and needed to get out. I went into town and looked at the shops. Somehow, through the haze of grief, the thought of that Grand Voyage came into my mind. Now if I were to go on such a voyage, on such a ship then I would need a nice evening dress to wear on formal nights. I went into Monsoon and there on the racks was the perfect dress. Without a moments hesitation I tried it on and bought it.
Oh dear, I had now taken a positive action. I had an evening dress to wear on a cruise that was just in my imagination. What a silly waste of money! I cried my heart out over Lucky all evening and all through the night. The very next day I went on the internet and booked THAT voyage on THAT ship in THAT very cabin that had the huge balcony!
A rash compulsive action? Most definitely!!! But then that is how an adventure begins!
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